Phew. This sucks. We’ve all been there, whether with family or friends it doesn’t matter when you’re the only vegan, the situation still sucks. Truth is, it gets easier. We promise.
So maybe you’re new at this, or maybe your friends and family just really need other things to talk about other than pointing fingers at the only vegan at the table. OR we need to arm you with the right information and vegan food to bring and offer to take the attention off of you! Yes. Stick with us, we’re gonna help.
I was pretty lucky for the most part with friends and family not being too bad about it but even still every once in a while I get comments or I’ll find myself at the brunt of the joke, again. It happens. I do have a thick skin, and as a vegan I think you’d all agree, we have to.
The Only Vegan = The Powerful Vegan
**This post may contain affiliate links, as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you, these are all products I recommend, I won’t put anything on this page that I haven’t verified or personally used.**
We stand our ground and we defend the voiceless. Its a pretty powerful thing. But sometimes in certain situations there are things we can do to make the situation less intense, or less awkward for ourselves. Maybe, even a learning opportunity for a friend or family member of yours!
I think back to when I first made the decision to be vegan, I was ALWAYS the only vegan. I lived with my parents still at the time and every night it would be the same thing. “Alanna what are you eating because I’m gonna grill some hamburgers!” Or “Hey meatloaf is in the oven, just letting you know so I’m not sure what you want to do for dinner but you have about 30 minutes or so.”
Truth is guys, they don’t get it because they’re not vegan. They don’t understand the excitement when you throw together a TOTALLY vegan meal as a brand new vegan. Because, vegans are extreme! In the eyes of the standard American diet, we are considered extreme. They thought I was nuts, they thought it was just a phase and eventually I’d be over it and start eating cheese again.
So what did I do? How did I survive being the only vegan at the table? I educated whenever they would listen (and sometimes they really would), and I took the jokes. Yes. Took them. Took a joke. Played along. Because, its not worth it to argue and get upset, its not worth it to slam your opinions into someones face that doesn’t want them.
Be Mindful Not Everyone Shares Our Views
So when we find ourselves in these situations where we’re the only ones, we enjoy spending time with our loved ones and our friends, make the most of it. Tip number one. Switch the topic. Divert the conversation away from veganism. Sometimes its just the best thing to do to ensure everyone feels included at the table. There should never be any vegan vs non vegan arguments. Trust me, I’ve been in them, and they suck. Yes, the cause is wonderful, but arguing with the people you love isn’t.
Just like religion and politics. We don’t all see eye to eye or agree but we have to be accepting of people whether we agree with what they believe in or not. We can’t be firing off vegan facts left and right and dominating dinner conversations, just like your friends and family cannot sit and badger you about being vegan the entire meal. It’s just not right.
Bring A Vegan Meal
So vegans are like the magicians of the cooking world. We can throw together an entire MEAL in just ONE bowl. Like…its magic. Throw a magic tahini sauce on a bowl of quinoa and roasted veggies. Done. So combine it all, double or triple the recipe and bring that sh*t with you to your next family dinner. Enter: Pyrex. If you don’t have a set of them, here’s your chance.
Text the host ahead of time, or call if you’re not a millennial, and let them know you’ll be bringing such and such as a meal and you just wanted to make sure it was a good choice for everyone to try!
I have a little cousin who is 21 and she’s been a vegetarian for LIFE you guys. She’s not a full vegan, but the kid NEVER wanted to eat meat and my aunts (Yes aunts, she has two moms! Even more, badass right?!) let it happen! They didn’t force her to “take one or two more bites.” Nope. They honored her love for animals and her inner instincts to stay away from consuming them. It’s amazing to me how some kids just have that innate sense.
Anyway, I always shoot her a text and let her know what I’m thinking of making for Lynn and I and make sure she’s all in too. She’ll eat anything I cook which is always really awesome! I’ll always make a ton of whatever it is I’m bringing just in case we have any daredevils at the table who DARE to try vegan food. *eyeroll* Its like we eat neon slime or something. Or even weirder, dead bodies.
Going Out With Friends or Family
Maybe our only vegan at the table is sitting in a restaurant that’s borderline non-vegan and they’re feeling crazy overwhelmed. Guys, I still hate going out for dinner now. Hates a strong word I shouldn’t use that. I dislike going out for dinner now. Because I cook all the time. I know exactly what is going into our systems and I have complete control over that.
What if they put butter in the pan instead of oil? What if the bread at the table has an egg in it? I don’t want to ask the waitress or waiter if its vegan, thats so annoying, I’m even annoying myself. WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE. Seriously, every single one of us has been there. What you can do is become the vegan FBI.
Find out ahead of time where your dinner will be, and check out the menu. By checking out, I mean entirely stalk online until you have your exact meal chosen. It’s 2023, every SINGLE restaurant has a website that features their menu. If they don’t- stay clear. Just kidding. But really, all restaurants typically will have an online website for you to check out their menu ahead of time.
If you’re super paranoid, and I’ve been there myself as an anxiety bag, call the restaurant and tell them you’re dining with them tonight, you’re a vegan, and you’re wondering what your options would be just so you won’t have to make a scene later on. Trust me, they get it too.
Create a meal from the sides if you don’t see an entree suitable for your vegan needs. If places offer potato skins chances are they can serve you a baked potato along side your boring salad. Sometimes it really is that sucky. Other times if you feel like involving the waitress and the restaurant isn’t a chain, they can ask the chef to create something vegan for you.
Trust us, you’re not the only vegan thats ever visited the restaurant, and even if you ARE, you won’t be the last.
Most Importantly
Relax, remember why you’re there. Have fun. There are thousands of opportunities to have constructive vegan educating conversations. You have to differentiate these. Enjoy being with your friends and family. Their relationship towards your vegan lifestyle will change as well! After they realize you’re committed and this isn’t “just a phase” they’ll be more apt to support you and even try your vegan food! I just cooked a huge pan of my FAVORITE EVER IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE OF VEGAN FOOD- Mac and cheese, and my family ATE it. Even better, they LOVED it. The very second we upload our mac and cheese post we’ll link it here for you!
Remember these times, stay focused during them, and remember you may be the only physical vegan at that table, but in the world, you’re one of thousands. And we ALL support you. Keep truckin’
The FEMPIRE has your back!