No, really. Like, the best gift ever. We whole heartedly love and appreciate these, because, they’re hilarious AND vegan! You’re not ready.
Introducing, Vegan Chocolate Dicks. Yep. We Said, Dicks.
These amazing creations are brought to us by a company with a name that couldn’t be more perfect.
Enter: Dick At Your Door. The dicks have a fast shipping pace and will only take a few days to arrive into the hands of your loved one. They range in price from $19.99-$29.99. The more expensive packages include a personalized Dick At Your Door card! How special! (1)
You know when you walk into the back of Spencer gifts (ugh, long live my childhood) and you see the hot pink section that’s filled with fluffy boas, slutty outfits, and some penis accessories? These should be their new addition.
I have so many sick gutter- minded friends I would have loved to purchased these for!
Vegans aren’t always earthy crunchy hippies who walk around braless in loin cloths, guys. Some of us are raunchy a**holes who love a good gag gift and can truly appreciate the magic of a chocolate dick.
Chocolate. Dicks. For. Everyone.
My favorite favorite part of the website is the disclaimer at the bottom that reads, “Products on this site are intended only as gag gifts for adults. These products are intended to generate a laugh and are not to be sent with malicious intent. If you have any doubt that sending a product from this site could potentially harm someone, do not place an order. It is your responsibility to use this site as it was intended, as a joke.” (1)
Come on, why not? Gave me a good laugh! I’m sure someone out there broke this disclaimer. Anyone? Any angry people sending pissed off chocolate dicks to their enemies?
…Bueller?
The review portion of the website are a solid slice of entertainment too. Who would purchase such a gift without the pleasure of reading those, right?
Bring On The Chocolate Dicks!
“When your buddy says you should check your mail and you open this. Haha. #dickatyourdoor #funniestthingiveseeninalongtime”
“Sent this to my buddy for his birthday. The look on his face was priceless. Sending one to my girlfriend next.”
“Nothing like sending a dick in a box to someone in the office. It was the talk of the company all week. They’ll never know!!”
“Roommate had a dry spell and hasn’t gotten any in months, figured I’d cheer her up with a chocolate dick instead. She loved it!”
“Very, VERY detailed,” one satisfied customer writes. “A beautiful product. However… it is so small lol. It’s like four inches big. Five inches at most. It tastes okay. Not very flavorful. But again, the detail and quality is amazing.”
We’re sold. Now the only deciding factor will be who our lucky recipient will be! Everyone who knows us should now forever be on the look out.
You can order these chocolate dicks directly from the website!
But, Don’t Forget That Disclaimer 😉
References:
- “AS SEEN ON:” Dick At Your Door | Send A Chocolate Dick to Anyone, dickatyourdoor.com/.
- Koman, Tess. “Get These 100% Vegan, All Natural Chocolate Penises Delivered Right To Your Front Door.” Delish, Delish, 1 Mar. 2019, www.delish.com/food-news/a26592049/dick-at-your-door/